You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December 2007.
how you begin a new year depends on how you end the previous one.
i didnt end 2006 well. work was overwhelming and i had difficulty managing my life, namely time, finances, health, friends, family, school, church and God. that was how i entered 2007.
i began 2007 feeling my world was collapsing. i wasnt doing well in anything and started questioning myself what was i doing and where was i heading to. i told myself i had to give up something. i heard voices telling me to give up. there was a particular person who told me i need to rethink the course of my life.
and so, i sat down, thought through, seek advices, wrote to pst and prayed about it. i came to a conclusion that i’m not a superwoman and i have to give up certain areas very important to me.
thank God for wise people in my life. despite being so determined to give up, they had me to hold on, encouraged me and prayed for me.
i made all the changes i could and fought on. still, there came a news i didnt want to hear. i didnt know if i should be happy or sad. that night, jairus shared about Jesus restoring peter. wendy prayed for me, and i cried buckets.
i gritted my teeth and moved on. i made changes at work, in school and in church. i gave up time with friends.
the first half year was like a living hell for me. it was a very painful period. there were many times when i asked myself if i had made the right decisions and i had no answer. i felt i was lost in a dark tunnel and i didnt know when i’ll see light at the other end. but still, i just kept walking. during that six months, i still fumbled. but each time, i just had to pick myself up and keep walking. i just kept praying, fasting, hang around my leaders and made some time with friends.
the next half of the year was slightly better as i began to settle down amidst the changes.
i made new friends, see people differently and understood that what was said was for my good.
as i spend more time with my leader wendy, i also had more opportunity to help her with the little things which i’m most grateful for. her every word, prayer and advices ring so clearly in my mind.
in church, there were influx of friends into our cg. people were more united and rose up to the occassion. it was also a time where i could spend a little more time with a few of the closer little ones.
in my career, i have time for myself after work.
in the last few weeks of december, God prompted me that i’ll end the year gloriously. well, my cg grew the fastest.
so many things had happened in 2007 and i felt it was only yesterday when all these things happened. each and every segment of my life is still so fresh in my memory. the little details like the venue and the tone are still so clear in my mind.
as 2007 comes to an end, i’m thankful to God for:
- being able to serve Him in apl
- kai lin and raine for their friendship
- sab’s friendship, support and laughter in and outside apl
- the gang’s understanding when i couldnt spend time with them
- doreen’s prayer
- benny’s and carrie’s time and love
- my birthday presents from the gang, cg, wendy, colleagues, wyz
- the company trip to hong kong
- my christmas presents from the gang, cg, wendy and colleagues
- bonus to clear my building fund and school fees
- the sky, which is still bright whenever i step out of my office building after work
- growth in my cg
- e404’s faith, hard work and friendship
- great project mates
- good results in school
and i’m most grateful for
-
wendy for not giving up on me, always believing in me, enlarging me, praying for me, giving visions, looking out for me and giving me countless opportunities. i could not be who i am and where i am if not for you
-
pst for telling me not to give up too
-
ben foong for your advices and encouragement
-
benny for tolerating my nonsense. thanks for being my best friend
-
God for being with me every single moment, especially during my darkest times. thank you for your unfailing love. thank you for Your encouragement and assurance when i held on
with all these challenges, i’ve became a little stronger and tougher.
it’s a glorious 2007!
the last week of december was nothing but pure fun.
i was at changi aloha on thursday. we ate bbq food, played card games, board games and nitendo wii.
there was no agenda that night.
i was at the dining table playing “heart attack”. we screamed, slipped under the table, stood on the chair, held dirty shoes, ate satays, put our feet on our ears and laughed our heads off.
the other group was playing boxing, tennis and bowling with the wii.
the hungry were at the bbq pit cooking and eating themselves away.
the cheeky side and inner child surfaced within us. everyone was unglam and no one cared.
it was so, so fun.
and i finally made my trip to sentosa last saturday! it’s something i’ve been talking about since october.
initially had arrange with yan to go swimming since i did not have to work. somehow, both of us ended in sentosa with some of the group.
it was a no-rule hanging out day. i wasnt bothered that people came late, or when they dressed shabbily. i didnt cared if people played roughed. i just wanted to have fun with everyone.
the best part was really baking ourselves under the sun. the water was so near to us that it kept washing our feet. it was so comfortable that we fell alseep right there!
we left before sunset, had carl’s junior for dinner, watched sun set at vivo’s rooftop and played cards.
yes, i’ve gotten the tan i want.
i love hang out doing nothing!
the sky seems to rain lesser these days and i’m seeing more of the sun. i’m so glad to see the bright blue sky again!
it’s time to go swimming and get a nice tan, yeah!
actually i’m just making up reasons to shed some weight. my bmi is 22.0, argh!
here’s a personality test i did which reveals a little about myself. the accuracy is 80%. but then again, i dont stay stagnant all my life. so this can be rather subjective. you can have your fun at ww.quizbox.com/personality
your view on yourself:
you are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. you are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
the type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
you like serious, smart and determined people. you don’t judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren’t necessarily your style. this makes you an attractive person in many people’s eyes.
your readiness to commit to a relationship:
you prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
the seriousness of your love:
you are very serious about relationships and aren’t interested in wasting time with people you don’t really like. if you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
your views on education:
education is very important in life. you want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
the right job for you:
you have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. the jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.
how do you view success:
success in your career is not the most important thing in life. you are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.
what are you most afraid of:
you are concerned about your image and the way others see you. this means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. it’s time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
who is your true self:
you are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. people ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
i woke up early yesterday as i had arranged with yan to have some fun at wild wild wet. but we cancelled the trip as it was raining.
went back to sleep and woke up in time for lunch at genki tampines. i was kind of hoping wendy would suggest lunching at m.o.f., as i missed the soy ice cream dessert.
lunch was pleasant. the previous time i ate at genki was during my poly days with retail group mates. and that must be at least 3 years ago. i still remembered the food wasnt very fresh and there was this overwhelming fishy stench. thankfully, the standard has improved tremendously. i had chawna-mushi and tempura ramen, which was very salty though. catched up a bit, but i did most of the listening, which was so unlike of me. heh. anyway, she made a very interesting remark which i wondered if she did on purpose. gosh
went shopping after lunch with wendy. kekeke. bought pressies for gift exchanges, a 3-quarts and perfume for myself. kekeke
it was nice spending time with wendy. would want to spend more time with her next year.. just pressing into her life a little more..
starry night, by vincent van gogh, painted 1889 – painting of the sky over a sleeping village.
starry starry night, paint your palette blue and grey
look out on a summer’s day with eyes that know the darkness in my soul
shadows on the hills, sketch the trees and the daffodils
catch the breeze and the winter chills, in colors on the snowy linen land
now i understand what you tried to say to me
how you suffered for you sanity how you tried to set them free
they would not listen they did not know how, perhaps they’ll listen now
starry starry night, flaming flowers that brightly blaze
swirling clouds in violet haze reflect in vincent’s eyes of china blue
colors changing hue, morning fields of amber grain
weathered faces lined in pain are soothed beneath the artist’s loving hand
chorus:
for they could not love you, but still your love was true
and when no hope was left in sight, on that starry starry night
you took your life as lovers often do,
but i could have told you, vincent,
this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you
starry, starry night, portraits hung in empty halls
frameless heads on nameless walls with eyes that watch the worldand can’t forget.
like the stranger that you’ve met, the ragged man in ragged clothes
the silver thorn of bloody rose, lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow
now I think I know what you tried to say to me
how you suffered for you sanity how you tried to set them free
they would not listen they’re not listening still
perhaps they never will.
i took cab home with eugene after the bbq on friday and i think the driver is mad. i’m kind enough not to post his complete car plate number.
shortly after we got on the cab, eugene asked the cab uncle when would the cab hike commenced and asked how much would the increase be.
i know it’s weather talk. but what other conversations could we have ya?
later did we realised what a horrible mistake it was.
the cab driver started to babble that we shouldnt take cab if we cant afford to pay the hike.
he went on to mention his daughter pays cab drivers $20, no matter how short the journey, and doesnt ask for change.
next, he mentioned our children will suffer big time since we’re such a stingy couple. hello?! who is he to make such comments on his customers!
and that was not all. for the rest of the journey, he kept repeating that when he hired a lawyer, he paid $400 per hour without feeling a pinch in his heart. if he were to sue eugene and i, we are going to be very pathetic and sorry about it! and he repeated that again and again and again till we alighted at my house.
please, will someone tell me if this cab driver has a sound mind?!
since knowing her 2 years ago, my life has become louder. if not for her (and of course with a few other jokers), i might remain a boring person.
she’s a very brave woman. she speaks what she wants, the way she wants. she dares to live the life she wants, the way she wants.
she’s a very good friend. she treats you the best she can. she gives good encouragements and advices. she lends her helping hand whenever she can. she definitely know how to make her presence felt. *laugh*
she makes a good girlfriend.
she shared how madly in love they were. they would spend time with each other every single day. they knew it would be a difficult journey for them, but they would brave through it together hand in hand. they had great dreams and planned their future together. they gave each other promises. they sacrificed many things for each other just to be together. she saw him as the man she will be spending the rest of her life with.
she doesnt say such words loosely. so when she said he was the one for her, she meant it with her whole heart and soul.
unfortunately, all these has come to an end.
seeing the way she cried and how much weight she has lost, i know it has been a very difficult time for her. it seems like she has got to bear it all by herself.
when she said ”..i could not function at all..”, i almost had to use all of my body cells to hold back my tears. it was like a battle for me. as i listen to her, i fought to hold back the hot tears from flowing down. i wasnt prepared to hear all these at all..
i gave her my two cents worth of advices. i’m not sure if it makes any sense to her. maybe she has heard the same advices too many times. maybe she has shut herself down. maybe she deceiving herself.
you need to get back on your feet, please.
putting aside commitment, time, finances and whatever risk, i think it takes bravery to enter into a relationship. i’m not sure if i have such courage. so i decide to let courage come and find me instead.
“a shoulder to cry on”
- tommy page
Life is full of lots of up and downs
But the distance feels further
When it’s headed for the ground
And there’s nothing more painful
Then to let your feelings take
You down
It’s so hard to know
The way you feel inside
When there’s many thoughts
And feelings that you hide
But you might feel better
If you let me walk with you
By your side
Chorus:
And when you need
A shoulder to cry on
When you need
A friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
You won’t be alone
I’ll be there
I’ll be your shoulder to cry on
I’ll be there
I’ll be your friend to rely on
When the whole world’s gone
You won’t be alone ’cause I’ll be there
All of the times
When everything is wrong
And your feeling like
There’s no use going on
You can’t give it up
I’ll help you work it out
And carry on
Side by side
With you till the end
I’ll always be the one
A shoulder to cry on continued
To firmly hold your hand
No matter what is said or done
Our love will always continue on
Chorus 2:
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
Everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world’s gone, you won’t be alone
’cause I’ll be there
I’ll be your shoulder to cry on
I’ll be there
I’ll be the one to rely one
When the whole world’s gone, you wont be alone
’cause I’ll be there
And when the whole world is gone
You’ll always have my shoulder to cry on
moses spent his first forty years thinking he was a somebody.
he spent the next forty years learning he was a nobody.
finally he spent another forty years discovering what mighty deeds God could perform through a nobody.
i consider myself more blessed than moses. i only took 24 years to discover God can use a nobody like me for His mighty exploits.
i’m thankful i’ve managed to step out trying to be somebody.. somebody great, somebody cool, somebody beautiful, somebody rich, somebody popular, somebody with great personality..
i’m now happy being who i am, the way God wants me to be, so that He can mould and use me.
it’s tiring trying to be somebody. but i guess everyone of us goes through this stage at one point or another. i hope you will take a shorter time discovering yourself.
let go and let God..an exciting journey is waiting for you.
