i grew up witnessing my parents quarrelling all the time. many times, my mom would keep quiet and hoped that the shouting will go away soon. after each quarrel, they would ignore each other ranging from days to months.

although i was no more than 7 years old then, yet there were many times i wanted to go to my mom and asked her to divorce my dad. i believed that was the only way she could escape from the verbal abuses. that was how much I detested my dad.

my last straw came when i was 10 years old. we were facing some financial difficulty and dad lost his temper big time. he yelled and threw glass crockery in the kitchen and living room. i was sitting beside my mom and saw her crying. my brother and I were too shocked to react. while dad went straight to bed right after venting his anger, mom had to clean up the mess. her face and eyes were red from crying. after that night, mom slept in my room for close to a year. since then, i considered myself father-less and the roof under my head was just a mere shelter, not a place called home.

i may be very young then, but i vowed not to allow my dad to walk me down the wedding aisle. the thought of wanting my mom to divorce my dad kept coming back and i enjoyed entertaining those thoughts. some nights, i dreamt of hitting my dad or torturing him. i would wake up from such nightmares in cold sweat and cry myself back to sleep. i didn’t know what was going on and i knew i needed help.

when i was 14 years old, an aunt brought my mom to church. she enjoyed going to church, and accepted christ as her personal Savior very soon. as soon as my mom started attending church, the quarrels between my parents reduced significantly. once, i saw them playfully fighting like kids and both of them were laughing so much. it was a miracle to see my parents behaved that way. i couldn’t deny that Jesus is real after seeing that miracle before my eyes and experienced the peace at home.

a friend invited me to City Harvest Church in 1998 and i gave my life to Jesus that day. when my cell group members knew of my relationship with my dad, they prayed for me and assured me that my Heavenly Father knows all my heartbreaks. they told me God’s love doesn’t fail and that He will love me and accept me just the way I am. i broke down and cried each time i hear that. never have i thought of experiencing love to such a great extent.

right now, i’ve grown to accept that my dad is not perfect and i’m far from perfection too.

to be honest, it took me a few years to overcome my hatred towards my dad and to tear down the gigantic emotional wall i have built inside of me. but each time i remember God’s unconditional love for me, it gave me the ultimate courage to forgive dad a little more, bit by bit. on Valentine’s Day 2007, dad gave me a rose from one of his potted plants. i’m sure God has changed him too.

since my mom, brother and i accepted Christ, God’s miracles never ceased. He always provided the finances we need and there’s no more lack. in recent years, my parents always have more than enough finances to go for holidays.

upon graduation from poly, i enrolled into bible school as i have always wanted to equip myself better to serve God. currently i’m helping around the best i know how, with the talents He has given to me. i’m always thankful and excited by how God is using someone like me to encourage others who have been hurt and feel insecure about themselves.

the love of Christ has set me free emotionally and gave me the strength to forgive.

most importantly, now i’m proud to want my dad walk me down the aisle on my wedding day.